On a Tear

In case you're wondering about the title of this post, it's tear.  Not tear.  Yes, they're spelled the same but are nothing alike.  I am not on a tear as in tear drop.  I'm on a tear as in a crazy, ambitious, creative streak to end all such streaks.

Now that we're on the same page....

It started with dog hair.  Doesn't it always?  Dog hair caught between the edge of the tile and the screening that encloses our veranda.  I went out to water my plants and was disgusted by all the hair against the base of the screening.  An hour later and after moving all of the furniture, I'm convinced I won that war.  Sadly, it will begin again next week unless my dogs magically stop shedding.  That's about as likely as me fitting in the jeans I have hanging on my closet door as a reminder to exercise more and stuff my face less.

The jeans brought on the second wave of the tear.  (again, I wasn't crying)

I took everything out of my closet and dresser.  Everything.  Nothing was left untouched.  The top shelf, the floor, all of it.  I organized it by season (thank God we only have one in the Keys) and then by style and color.  That's a no shitter.  I've never done that before and hope I never do again.  It's insanity.  Four hours later, I had a few boxes of things to give to the shelter, but not those jeans.  They're staying put to be a daily source of irritation.  I mean motivation.

Then I sat down to work on book number two when I started a new project.  I cranked out about forty pages before I realized I was bouncing my legs to keep from peeing my pants.  My brain wasn't listening to my bladder because it had a great idea that had to be put into electrons.  I don't know if you'll ever see it, but it was pretty cool while it was happening.  I don't know where it came from, but I suppose it was born from dog hair and closets.

I'd like to say that I'm off to do something equally impressive, but honestly, I'm ready for a glass of wine and some Food Network.  I feel I've done my part to improve the world today.  Oh, I also have eaten only vegetables today.  I'm not kidding.  I wasn't planning to do that, but just realized I've only eaten veggies today...no bread or cheese (I must be dying) or pasta or beer (that's it; call the paramedics).

Can this day get any more weird?!?!