Friday, March 20, 2015

While I Wait

While I try to find project to keep me occupied while I search for a literary agent, I stumbled upon what I believe is a great idea. I'll write a cook book! Why the hell not, right? The world could never have enough cook books. I read them the way other people read novels. Why not make my own?

The tricky part is what specifically to focus on? My first thought was trying to recreate favorite recipes from my travels, but I'm not exactly a globe-trotter. I don't think the result would be global enough to appeal. Then I considered knock-off recipes of my favorite restaurant dishes, but that's been done and done ad nauseam, plus I don't really like to go out to eat. I'd rather cook at home.

Then it hit me. Why not a cook book dedicated to CHEESE? Wait, it gets better.

Lightening struck and I thought, how about a book packed only with BEER recipes? Wait for it.

How about a book that celebrates all things BEER AND CHEESE?!? Hallelujah, that's it.

Stop shaking your head. Beer and cheese are what make this crazy world go 'round. Copernicus knew this to be true and now you do as well.

Feel free to make suggestions, submit recipes or pictures, or scoff. It shall be a glorious book the likes of which have never been imagined. OOOOOOO!!! How about scratch and sniffs?!?! Imagine a scratch and sniff picture of a steaming loaf of hot bread made with beer and Irish cheddar....

I've got work to do!

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Got It Covered

I found a photo on Pinterest  (damn that thing for sucking me in) that feels like the perfect cover for Keys Disease. Of course, there are reasons why I can't just pluck a photo off the net and create a book cover; there are rights and there's money to be paid and yadda yadda yadda. However, I'm going to share that photo, giving full credit to those who deserve it. I don't know who they are, but...

Let It Be Known, I did not take this photo and am not claiming any rights to it whatsoever, so help me God, Amen.

Are you ready to see it?

Isn't it great?!?

The main character limps into town in a VW bus just like's perfect. Just perfect.

Feel free to share your thoughts. Does this photo make you think "road trip" or "paradise, here I come"? As I've mentioned, I won't be able to use this exact photo, but I'd like to find something similar. If you think you have want I need, lay it on me, friends! We'll work something out...maybe we'll barter, maybe I'll pay you in shells, maybe in rum. Maybe I'll lend you Dougie for a week.

Thursday, March 5, 2015

It's Done!

My third book, Keys Disease, is finally done. Kaput. Finito. It's a wrap.

Whew. Now comes the daunting and stressful task of finding a literary agent to sell it to a publisher. That's something I didn't do with the first two, but am tackling this go round. It's a game of patience and those of you who know me well are probably harrumphing at the notion. Patience isn't something I have in abundance. I used it all up when my kids were young. What I have left gets sucked up by the whack-job neighborhood in which we live. However, I'll have to dig deep and find more because I'm gonna need it.

It could be a year or more before anything happens.

I'll wait while you read that again.

Yep, a year.

You know what happens during the waiting period, right? Self doubt. Discouragement. Distress. But guess what? I plan to keep dark thoughts out of my head. I won't let the ticking of the clock make me second guess the book's merits. It's not going to be remembered as a classic piece of literary fiction, but then again, that's not my goal. My goal is a little less lofty, but only a little. I wanna sell a gizzillion of them, make some readers happy, and publish another dump truck-full between now and when my ashes are scattered near the base of Minard Castle in Annascual, Ireland.

Until last night, I'd been struggling with what to label the book's genre. Labels are so damn important in the publishing world. Just calling it "fiction" isn't good enough. There's classical, contemporary, literary, women's, historical, science, horror, etc. You get the idea. The one that is least impressive to my ears is "Other", but it seemed to be the best fit. My round novel didn't fit neatly into any of the square holes of genres. But a friend suggested another. One I'd never heard of. Perhaps she made it up. I don't care. It works. Are you ready?

South Florida Sleaze.

Voila! It fits Keys Disease like a glove. Done and done. I'll take it.