Thursday, May 30, 2013

Blog Blitz!

An independent author named Y. Correa, with whom I've connected on created a one-of-a-kind blog event.  She's calling it "All Author's Blog Blitz"!

Here's how she describes it:
"Imagine if you will, a small dot on a wall.  That small dot happens to grow a very thin thread of silk which then connects it to another dot just like it. Then another thread of silk, and another dot... thusly the dots and threads grow and connect to one another, creating an enormous web of dots. 

THIS is one of the ways that the internet works. One thing connects to another, which connects to another and in that way making them all easily searchable.

THIS is also the aim of the “All Authors Blog Blitz”.

My aim in doing this “All Authors Blog Blitz” is to make OUR WEB larger and more visible. I believe that if we work together that would be very possible. WE, just as the larger publishers, need to stick together. Work together. YOU alone, are just a single speck in a much larger web. However, US together, are a web of specks. Large and mighty."

Here's how it works, at least as I understand it.

I feature an indie author on my blog and a second indie author features me on theirs.  Think interviews, book reviews, giveaways...whatever we want to do to help showcase our work.

This blog event takes place June 15th and on that day, we will use FB, Twitter, Pinterest and whatever other media sights people use to spread the word.  It's our hope to create an explosion in the world of blogging.

Stay tuned...I'll be featuring Author Ross Harrison, who was born in Bath, UK - a place my daughter and I loved!  He now lives in Ireland...can you see how this relationship will work out?  We're countrymen!

Stay tuned to learn more about Ross and his work.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

It You Can't Beat 'Em...

Still unable to crack the book club code, I've decided to start my own.  Yep, that's right.  I'm starting my own Book Club For Winos.  We'll meet monthly to share our thoughts about a book we've agreed to read and talk while swilling wine and devouring cheese.  Nothing too intellectual.  This is about the wine and cheese, mostly, but I have an ulterior motive.  I always do.

I'm going to advertise this new club on, which I stalk daily.  I contact three per day (that's the max the site will allow) to recommend my book to book clubs across the country.  None have taken the bait, but I'm trying to keep a stiff upper lip.

Here's how I see this playing out.  Some independent author like me will contact us and ask us to read their book.  Bingo!  That's when a little quid pro quo comes into play.  You read mine, I read yours, we give each other Amazon and Goodreads reviews.  This sort of thing happens all day long among the independent author pool because without publishing houses to back us, we are without marketing assistance.  We rely on reviews and support from other self-publishers to get the word out.

Am I a jerk?  Well, we know I'm a jerk, but does this approach to marketing make me a bigger one?

Friday, May 17, 2013

Some People

Let me explain why I may appear to be in "a mood", as my Dad used to say.  That phrase always irritated me.  Everyone is in some sort of mood 24/7, right?  But, I knew what he meant...he meant Mom was in a bad mood.  Not just any mood.  A bad one.

Anyway, back to MY mood.  A neighbor recently told me he read my book and found it interesting.  I thanked him and we went our separate ways.  I'll be honest; I've never really like the guy.  I don't have a particular reason to dislike him, but he's a recovering alcoholic who's been sober for six or eight years.  I don't trust people who don't drink, but knew I could make an exception given his addiction.  His years of sobriety have made him into a being better than the rest of us.  You and I are mere mortals who resort to swilling booze while he makes the world a better place simply by being in it.

I guess I am in a mood, right?

Trust me, the guy is a dick.  Even Mother Theresa would be hard pressed to find a likable quality about the man.

A few days ago, another neighbor told me what Mr. Sobriety had to say about my book behind my back.
"What made her think she could a write a book, anyway?  It was the worst piece of filth I've ever read!"

If sexual abuse of a minor and a hand job is the worst kind of filth he's ever read, what the hell does that guy read?  Dr. Seuss?  Even the Twilight series described vampire sex.

I don't mind that he didn't like the book; it's not for everyone.  People are entitled to their opinion and if you buy a book, you've paid for the right to express that opinion.  Oh wait...he didn't buy it.  He borrowed it...but he's still entitled.

What has me in a mood is he doesn't have the stones to share his honest opinion.  What does he think I'll do?  Poop on his grave?  Vandalize his desk?  Force him to drop a turd in a box?

Sunday, May 12, 2013


Mom.  That's probably the greatest thing anyone has ever called me.  It surpasses every other title I've been given.  Mom.

Today is Mother's Day (yes, I already called mine to wish her a wonderful day...she didn't answer the phone but it still counts...and I sent her flowers) and I know a lot of people get all worked up about this particular day.  All of them have vaginas, by the way.  I think it's unfair to put expectations on others simply because Hallmark or the florist industry decided today is THE day to prove how much you love your Mom by; 1) buying a card, 2) sending flowers, 3) taking her to brunch and 4) catering to her every wish.

That's a bunch of crap.

I expect that every day.

That is a joke.  Honestly, just kidding.  Or JK for all you texters out there.  LOL.  I'm actually not LOLing and I don't really like when people LOL me in a text.  I never know whether to believe them.  Are they just saying it to make me feel good about myself or are they really LOLing?

Stop sidetracking me.  I was talking about Mother's Day.  JK, it's not your fault.  LOL.

As I was saying, Mother's Day is just a day.  If your husband forgets or your kids don't dedicate the entire day to you, don't feel bad.  Be happy you have them in your life and go do something that makes you happy.  Drink a beer in the sun while digging in the dirt.  Give the dog a bath in the back yard and let him get you soaking wet.  Take a nap in a hammock.  You get the idea.

As for me, I'm making homemade bagels and then heading down to the pool to do some casual laps before going with my family and nieces to our favorite seaside dump for cold beer, hot shrimp and good music.  My day is already perfect because Peanut called and we had a nice, long chat.  "I love you very much, Mom." was exactly the Mother's Day gift I'd hoped to get.  He didn't let me down.

Zak and Lauren, you both make me proud and I love you like you can't imagine.

Happy Mother's Day everyone.  Now get outside and have some fun!

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

On a Tear

In case you're wondering about the title of this post, it's tear.  Not tear.  Yes, they're spelled the same but are nothing alike.  I am not on a tear as in tear drop.  I'm on a tear as in a crazy, ambitious, creative streak to end all such streaks.

Now that we're on the same page....

It started with dog hair.  Doesn't it always?  Dog hair caught between the edge of the tile and the screening that encloses our veranda.  I went out to water my plants and was disgusted by all the hair against the base of the screening.  An hour later and after moving all of the furniture, I'm convinced I won that war.  Sadly, it will begin again next week unless my dogs magically stop shedding.  That's about as likely as me fitting in the jeans I have hanging on my closet door as a reminder to exercise more and stuff my face less.

The jeans brought on the second wave of the tear.  (again, I wasn't crying)

I took everything out of my closet and dresser.  Everything.  Nothing was left untouched.  The top shelf, the floor, all of it.  I organized it by season (thank God we only have one in the Keys) and then by style and color.  That's a no shitter.  I've never done that before and hope I never do again.  It's insanity.  Four hours later, I had a few boxes of things to give to the shelter, but not those jeans.  They're staying put to be a daily source of irritation.  I mean motivation.

Then I sat down to work on book number two when I started a new project.  I cranked out about forty pages before I realized I was bouncing my legs to keep from peeing my pants.  My brain wasn't listening to my bladder because it had a great idea that had to be put into electrons.  I don't know if you'll ever see it, but it was pretty cool while it was happening.  I don't know where it came from, but I suppose it was born from dog hair and closets.

I'd like to say that I'm off to do something equally impressive, but honestly, I'm ready for a glass of wine and some Food Network.  I feel I've done my part to improve the world today.  Oh, I also have eaten only vegetables today.  I'm not kidding.  I wasn't planning to do that, but just realized I've only eaten veggies bread or cheese (I must be dying) or pasta or beer (that's it; call the paramedics).

Can this day get any more weird?!?!

Sunday, May 5, 2013


I realized this morning as I contemplated how the hell to get my book into the hands of book clubs across the nation, that I am a greedy person.  I WANT MORE!

There, I said it.  I'm not ashamed.  Perhaps I should be, but I'm not.

Last month was the best month yet (in terms of sales) for my book, but I'm not satisfied.  I want May to surpass April and June to surpass May and, well, you get the idea.  If that makes me a bad person, then print me a label and I'll proudly wear it.  I know I've done far worse than feel greed.  Far worse.

I'm still unable to break the book club code.  How do I reach the thousands of clubs out there and get them to read my book?  I saw a comment regarding my book on Goodreads, indicating it had been chosen by a book club several weeks ago - and that made my week, by the way - but I'm fairly certain they chose my book because at least one of the members knows me.  That's not to say I'm ungrateful, so don't go twisting my words around to make me look more like an ass than I already do.  Believe me, I don't need your help pissing people off.

Now where was I?  Oh, right.  I'm thrilled that at least one club chose my book!  Here comes that greed do I make it happen again?  And again?  And again?  You with me?

Feel free to shower me with your sage advice.  Please also feel free to pimp my book to anyone and everyone.  Pimping has gotten a bad rap, but I promise, pimp away.  It's okay.  Pimps are people too.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

April Rocked

April was a good month for my book, I sold more copies last month than any other.  THANK YOU for your continued interest and support.

I ended the month with a bang! when "Confessions" was named the most popular book on yet again.  I'm humbled...that's three weeks in a row for the coveted #1 slot.

Enough bragging; I still have enough Catholic influence to realize that the more you talk about how great you're doing, the sooner everything goes down the shitter.  Does that happen to Protestants, too, or is that a privilege reserved just for the Catholics?

I started a third book last week.  Relax, you didn't miss the second one; it's being written but just a few days ago, I got a serious bug up my butt and started another.  I like it better than number two ( as in the book, not the body function ), but I'm not sure where I'm headed.  It's a mystery and an adventure.

I hope you stay for the show.