Never Too Old

It's been quiet since I discovered the Book Banning Bimbo and sidekick are two Lavell cousins.  I still don't understand why their granny panties are in a bunch but I've decided to leave it alone.  You know how I know there's something wrong with me?  I mean, other than all of the obvious, outward signs?  I actually miss the drama of getting called by the bookstore about a sighting and trying to figure out who it is!  It was exciting and now that I know who was behind it, it's no longer interesting.  Sheesh.

I fly off my island the day after tomorrow, back to my hometown of Brockport, NY.  I'm getting the habit ironed and ready for battle, just in case the crazies show up at Saturday's book signing.  I'm looking forward to some time with my BFF, drinking wine and watching her blow snot in her hair.  It never gets old.

Get this: she's gonna show up at the book signing in her habit, too.  See what happens to kids if you leave them in Catholic school too long?

So just when I think I have my Mom figured out, she throws me a curve ball.  She asked me to wear my habit to church because she thinks "it'll be funny".  What?  Did she stop taking her medications?  That's not the woman I know.  Some have suggested it's a trick, a ploy to get me into God's house pretending to be a nun so he'll strike me down.  I'm not worried because I've done far worse in that habit and I'm alive to tell the tale - although I'm keeping most of it between me and Dougie.

Still, it's pretty amazing that after 45 years, she can surprise me.  She hasn't read the book yet, because I asked her not to.  Those of you who've read it know why.  She asked me to sign a copy for her this weekend and plans to start reading it while I'm there.  She wants to know why her nieces want the book removed from Liftbridge's shelves.

I'm rethinking my lodging plans for the weekend.  Perhaps staying at Mom's, on the farm, in the middle of nowhere is not a good idea.

I promise to keep you updated on the book signing (don't forget, I'll have wine and cheese and baked goods to share with whomever drops in) and whatever drama unfolds at the Lavell Farm, aka Nut House.

See you at the Liftbridge at 2pm on Saturday!!  Get into the habit!!