Monday, December 10, 2012

TV Interview

I'm completely unprepared for the TV interview scheduled for tomorrow morning.  Completely unprepared.  I haven't given a moment's thought to what I'm going to say or what the hell I'm going to wear, for that matter.  I really need to step away from the computer and focus but I've adopted my parents' Catholic approach to the problem.  If I don't talk about it, it isn't happening.

If the saying that the camera adds ten pounds is true, then I'm screwed.  I've been eating everything in sight and even small children that get too close are in danger of being consumed.  I have nothing to blame it on, I've just been a freaking pig and now the world's gonna see it.

Actually, who am I kidding?  Who's really gonna see it?  Probably VERY few, so I shouldn't sweat it.  I wonder what the typical audience is for "Good Morning Key West"?  It can't be very big but I'm stressing a little just the same.

The host's name is Jenna Stauffer, an attractive woman who, of course, is quite thin.  Sitting next to a little stick person will only make my heifer-sized rear end look even bigger.  Perfect.  Why aren't there more chunky girls doing morning TV?  I need to be seated next to someone like that.

Wanna know my biggest fear about that interview?  Uncontrollable gas.  Yep, that's what I'm worried about.  No, it's not a problem I experience on a daily basis or even with regularity but I'm convinced that as soon as the camera turns on, I'm gonna blow the biggest fart experienced by man.  It would be really funny - if it happened to someone else.

I'm gonna go look in my closet and see if I have anything besides shorts and sweatpants big enough to accommodate my ass.  Tune in tomorrow to find out how the interview went...


1 comment:

  1. Listen here missy! Let's practice what you preached on wine weekend and give yourself some love and respect! Positive talk girlfriend! Don't make me come down there with my ruler for a crack across the knuckles!
    Much love, Sister Christine

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