Whoa

I returned from an amazing adventure in Ireland - my daughter and I walked 111 miles around the Dingle Peninsula - with my batteries recharged.  I was eager to write.  I didn't know where my latest book was headed, which isn't unusual for me.  I never know where my books are going until they get there.  That's how I write.  (Did you know some people plan?  Outline, even?)

I was writing a fun chapter when BAM!  Something completely unexpected happened.  I was so shocked that I felt exhausted by it.  I couldn't write anymore for the day.  The turn of events absolutely wiped me out. It's such a weird experience when that happens.

When I was writing Fat Chance, I had a similar occurrence when the main character, Daphne, killed for the first time.  I'd no idea she was going to turn crazed serial killer, but when she did, the act of writing it was draining.

Is this how how other writers feel?  What about artists?  Do painters or sculptors or illustrators have times when their craft drains them both physically and mentally, or do I need to call a doctor?

Regardless, that's how it happens with me.  It took me two days before I could continue with the plot. Rather than deal with the surprise event again, I dove back into the middle and edited for a couple of days, hiding like a chicken shit from the thing that surprised me.  It made me so uncomfortable, I didn't want to deal with it, but after a couple of days, I did.  I had to.  I couldn't just leave that poor character alone in that horrible mess.

It's still very shocking, but I'm writing again and still I wonder where this book is headed.  It has taken several turns since it first began.  In fact, it's a completely different novel than when I began writing it.  Good thing I'm not a house builder, because I think my approach to creating would result in some pretty screwed up floor plans.

Time to get back to the task at hand.  What will happen today?

Wisconsin?

One of the many ways I attempt to self-market is to contact book clubs, tell them a little bit about one of my books, and hope that the club will select it for one of their monthly readings.  It's a lot of work for little reward, but I'm convinced it will eventually pay big dividends.  I think book clubs are my way into the light.

I've had quite a dry spell, with no responses from book club organizers since late winter, which for those of us in the Keys was February but for those of you in NY, that was yesterday.  Sorry about that.  You probably don't want to hear that it's been in the high 80's all week, do you?

Anywhooooo, just this morning, I received a very cordial email from a book club organizer in Wisconsin, don't cha know?  She said her club would LOVE to read Fat Chance...if I would fly there to join the group's discussion of the book, answer questions and sign books.  Ahem.

Travelocity says I can fly from Miami to Milwaukee for $382.00.  I'd need a hotel room for the night and I'd have to pay for cab fares and pints, perhaps even a meal or three.  Let's be conservative and say the trip would cost $650.  We all know it would be more than that, but let's just pretend.

Do you have any idea how many books I'd have to sell just to break even?  Even if all 52 members of their book club purchase a copy, which is unusual - I've found that when a book club "selects" a book to read, less than half actually buy/read it - I'd still lose money.

I'm not looking to get rich in this line of work, although that would be something I could get used to, but I can't spend money to write.  I have to at least break even and then there's time away from family, which is worth a lot of money to me.

I don't think I'll be going to Milwaukee...unless another Wisconsin - don't cha know - book club decides to select one of my books.  A two-fer would be nice.  I might even make a profit.  Oh, there I go getting all silly again.  It's time to get to work.  That third book isn't going to write itself.

House - I mean blog - cleaning

I combined two blogs into one this morning, which was no easy feat.  It was ridiculous to think I could maintain a separate blog for each book I write.  No one has enough interesting things to say to keep two writing blogs active.  Remember that I also maintain two travel blogs.  Enough already.

From this point forward, The Write Thing To Do will be my blog for all things book-related.  My books, your books, you get the idea.

Speaking of my books, I'm working on the third.  The working title is "Hellbent", but that will most certainly change.  I truly plucked it out of my backside with absolutely no thought.  A place holder, that's all.

Like "Fat Chance", the book's setting is the Florida Keys during mini season.  For those who aren't lucky enough to live here, mini season is a three day period in July when people are allowed to harvest legally-sized lobsters from the Florida waters before the commercial season begins.  The event attracts thousands from the mainland.  They rape and pillage our waters, leave their trash behind and infuriate the locals.

The fictional tale has mystery, murder, drugs and human trafficking...and that's just in the first eight chapters.

Stay tuned.  I've no idea where this book is heading or how it will get there.

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder?

I've been absent from this blog for a few months...do you feel more fond of me because of it?  I thought not.  That particular phrase is a bunch of crap.

I think it's time to combine blogs.  I can't keep up a blog for each novel I write; it just doesn't make sense.  Let's be honest; I don't have enough interesting things to say to keep several blogs going.  In addition to this one, I maintain one for Fat Chance

http://pattilavellfatchance.blogspot.com/

and two others for my travel adventures with my daughter:
http://walkmyfatass.blogspot.com/
http://willwalkforguinness.blogspot.com/

It's too much.  No one wants to hear from one person on that many fronts.

I hope you'll bear with me during the construction phase.  I've no idea what I'll do, but when I'm done there will be one blog for all of my writing efforts and it will be called....um....well, what would you suggest?  I welcome your brilliant ideas for a title for the new, combined blog.

Perhaps I should consult the Pope.

Feeling Special

I just found out that out of over one hundred submissions, I was chosen as one of the thirty authors to participate in a book festival at Rochester Central Library (about 15 miles east of my hometown).  I consider that a pretty cool accomplishment.

The day begins with some workshops in self-publishing (those would have probably been helpful to me a year ago!) and then from 2:30 - 4:30pm, all of the authors set up in the Kate Gleason Auditorium to sell books.  Where better to sell books than at a library, right?!  Seems like the perfect crowd, except maybe for setting up a table in the vestibule of a Catholic church....

I'll be in full nunnery, of course.  I've grown quite attached to my habit.  Would it bother you to know that I sometimes wear it around the house, late in the evenings...carrying a glass of red wine.  Its very comfortable and makes me feel good.  My husband pretends not to notice but I sometimes catch him giving me a sideways glance.  When that happens, I bow my head and pretend to bless him from across the room.

Your Jesus Knickers Are Too Tight

The latest Amazon review of "Confessions" is titled "Garbage".

It's certainly attention-getting, I'll give her that.  Very catchy.

I suppose most people would be upset by such a review, but quite honestly, it made my day.  To know I was able to evoke such strong emotion was enough for me.  My writing was enough to make poor Kathleen actually vomit!!  I'd call that a success, not garbage.

I'd venture a guess that she wouldn't enjoy my company any more than she enjoyed my book.  Loosen those Jesus knickers, Kathleen, and try to laugh.

Life is too short to worry about a one-star review!  Now where's me flask?


Here's that little darling's review:

"So very sad.....sad situation but hard to feel sorry for the charachter; I was too busy vomitting and feeling sorry for myself that I actually paid for this. The description sounded appealing to me and I thought it might mimic my upbringing in a comedic light but this was just garbage from the very beginning. The main character is actually quite tragic but I was so repulsed by her descriptive view on life that I just couldn't find it within myself to connect."

And We Have A Decision!

After much angst about what passages to read at this weekend's book event in BrockVegas, NY (known by most as Brockport), I've finally made a decision.  Drum roll, please.

The Wedding!  You may recall Patti Anne was desperate to win the affections of her soon-to-be sister-in-law's brother.  (Confusing, I know.  All you really need to understand is that it was a man.)  They were paired together in the wedding party and Patti Anne was smitten.  She came up with a brilliant strategy...or so she thought.  She duct taped bowls inside the bodice of her dress to replicate the ginormous rack of Dolly Parton.  It worked.  Until one of the bowls fell out and smashed on the floor of the church.

Hopefully, the chapter will warm the hearts of those in attendance.  Who doesn't cherish a good boob story?

Now, what shall I read from my latest release, "Fat Chance"?